Colyn Emery Writing Digital Media Hire Me

I have contributed to sites like Techopedia, The Hard Times and Funny or Die. I write about tech (which is short for "technology") and sometimes music, MMA and other things. I try to write self-deprecating comedy but suck at it. I have a BFA degree in Creative Writing from Chapman University and an MFA degree from Art Center College of Design (where I wrote my thesis paper on Monomyth story structure in the cult film, The Room).

 

I have written for various marketing campaigns and do a lot of copywriting. My niches include (but are not limited to) digital marketing, XaaS and mobile applications.

 

Check out some of my work below and contact me about new projects.

2017

 

Michael Jackson’s Moonwalk Was FAKE

(ghostwritten for Truth Bang, March 2017)

 

DON’T LET THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA LIE TO YOU: The alleged “King of Pop”’s so-called “moonwalk” was filmed by HOLLYWOOD ELITES here on Earth, and I have the SCREENGRABS to prove it.

 

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Top 4 Uses of Embedded Analytics

(Techopedia article, September 2017)

 

Embedded analytics provide users and businesses with access to invaluable insight while eliminating the heavy costs of proprietary, insourced analytic software development.

 

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These Pain Points Are Preventing Companies from Adopting Deep Learning

(Techopedia article, July 2017)

 

Deep learning has a lot to offer businesses, but many are still hesitant to adopt it. Here we look at some of its biggest pain points.

 

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2016

 

Santa’s Sleigh Violates No Fly Zone, Escalating War On Christmas

(The Hard Times article, December 2016)

 

WASHINGTON — A flying sleigh led by eight tiny reindeer confirmed to belong to Santa Claus was found in violation of United States no-fly zone restrictions in upstate New York today, according to Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Joseph Dunford.

 

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Steampunk Band Postpones Tour After Crashing Flight Apparatus

(The Hard Times article, September 2016)

 

MONROVIA, Calif. — London-based steampunk outfit The Buzzcogs canceled several concert dates after an accident outside of Los Angeles involving the band’s steam-powered flying apparatus this afternoon, according to various media reports.

 

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Environmentalist Band Recycles Riffs

(The Hard Times article, February 2016)

 

OAKLAND, CA – Known for their strong stance on preventing ocean acidification, ending deforestation, and maximizing the biocapacity of regional ecosystems, ecologically friendly hardcore band Repurpose have announced that their new LP will be made using 100% recycled riffs.

 

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2015

 

Meet One-Man D-Beat Band, “Disguy”

(The Hard Times article, October 2015)

 

ANAHEIM, Calif. – The D-beat genre — often characterized by its raw, stripped-down sound and signature drum beat — hasn’t always been the most inventive, but one bold man is trying to push its boundaries: meet Jim Rufus, sole member of the D-beat band Disguy.

 

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Acoustic Considerations for Your Listening Space

(Jukebox.io blog, July 2015)

 

Many different questions ought to factor into one’s strategy in designing any music listening environment. How big of a role should music play in the space? Should music be the focus (such as in a dance club or even a gym) or in the background (such as in a restaurant)? What is (or what will be) the shape of the room? Will it have four walls, a floor and a ceiling, or will it have a more complex configuration? From what equipment will the sound project, and how will that equipment be placed? And, most importantly, what is the budget for this endeavor?

 

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Telecom Tower Climbing - How Technology Is Changing the Future of America's Most Dangerous Job

(Techopedia article, December 2015)

 

Rapid expansion of the telecommunications industry helped cause dangerous working conditions for transmission tower climbers. New technology might patch up the issue of tower climber safety in the near future, but also distracts from the larger issue of lackadaisical workplace safety protocol in the U.S.

 

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